I wrote this phrase back on April 11, 2019 in Beaufort, SC and thought it a fitting title for this post. “I’m getting ready to get ready.” I listen to Abraham Hicks on YouTube and have read her books so I want to give her credit for this phrase that she uses a lot; getting ready to get ready. It has always resonated with me and especially during this moment in my life. So read on. . . . let’s back up in time!
January 1, 2019
The holidays are behind me! I’ve set aside this day to think, reflect and make a plan for this new year. I have my new ring and the energy is literally changing. I can feel it.
I made an appointment to speak with my intuitive guide, Christen McCormack for January 1. I’m ready with my questions for our hour together. The first thing she said was “I see you as a Phoenix rising from the ashes. It’s going to be a year of self-empowerment, self-nurturing and self-promotion.” She also indicated that it was a year to express myself without censoring. It’s a year to leave karma behind me. It’s the year to say, “enough is enough.”
I had spoken to her in October 2018 and asked if there would be another love? She said, “yes.” I’m elated and I am ready to get ready so I asked her in January if I need to sign up for online dating because I’m not making any connections out there! I’m ready to get ready but nothing is happening!
January 19, 2019
I had a Reiki session, my first. My throat chakra was blocked. He cleared that block and encouraged me to to find my voice and speak my truth. So interesting how he collected my negative energy and deposited into a bowl of water.
I’m sensing a theme of finding my voice, are you? Finding my voice leads to a sense of empowerment which leads to promoting myself. Yes indeed there’s a theme!
Now I have to insert here that my Mom is in my ear and she’s saying some stuff like this:
“You’re getting too big for your britches young lady.”
“Who do you think you are, the Queen of England?”
You know the drill don’t you? I’m wondering what your Mom said to you in moments like this?
From My Journal
February 9, 2019
“You get what you think about! Yikes! So it’s imperative to be clear about what I am going to attract into my life? Looking forward to being in a relationship—practice feeling good—the balance—being with someone that I can be me without asking for forgiveness—-and that he can be that also. Feeling like you have come home. A mirror.”
So I began a list, a detailed list of what I want in a man. That list is in the back of my journal because it’s a running list. You know what I mean don’t you? My calendar is full with me flying to present workshops, staying in hotels and I have to keep my journal close just in case I think of something. It’s deliberate and intentional.
I’m getting ready to get ready.
Here’s the list.
Is good looking.
Values his health
Enjoys all different kinds of music
Likes to dance
Bailey likes him
March 5, 2019
I had lunch with a colleague for some professional advice and then I ask her about her success with finding someone online. I hit the gold mine with her. Here’s my Cliff notes. Match.com is easy to do a profile. e-harmony takes time. Guys are attracted to Match.com. So I am all about e-harmony I want to attract a guy that is thoughtful.
April 28, 2019
“I’m so grateful for waiting to do e-harmony because my energy hasn’t been right. I could have attracted someone that I really didn’t want. So I am free the next few days and my energy is in the right place to attract the perfect match.”
My Angel cards were Kindness and purpose.
It’s Tuesday and it’s time for e-harmony. That’s my priority for this morning. All the signs are present that this is the day. It is a beautiful morning and I am outside with my computer. A song comes on Could It Be I’m Falling In Love? I’m getting ready to get ready. And so I began my profile. It took time to write about me and then what photos to include? Fortunately I had asked a few close friends for adjectives that would describe me. Here’s that list.
Sassy in a good way
Willing to take risks
My profile is ready. I’ve taken the test. I’ve answered the questions. I’ve carefully chosen photos. All I have to do is hit the submit button. And then scared literally comes to take home in my heart.
All the negative talk in my brain comes out.
“Who is going to be attracted to a 68 year old woman?”
“Who are you kidding Jessica?”
“Get over yourself.”
And then there were these thoughts.
“Why do you want to mess up this lovely life you have created with a man?”
“Why can’t you just be grateful for what you have? Isn’t this good enough?”
“Wasn’t your time with Michael enough? You can’t recreate it again!”
“Aren’t your friends enough?”
I almost didn’t hit the “submit my profile button” and then I remembered my two value words of courage and integrity from Brené Brown’s book Dare to Lead and in that moment I literally hit the submit button. And just like that I’m out there.
Where’s the Sweet Spot?
It’s January 8, 2020 as I write. My sweet spot is all of my friends that have encouraged me faithfully to seek out a new relationship. Each of them were honest and candid with me. I could have done it without them but the process would have looked very different and would not have been authentic. So I am indebted to Kim, Susan K, Susan D, Renee, Mandy and of course my Sharon.
Where’s Your Sweet Spot?
So I love ending like this! Where’s your sweet spot when you endeavor a new adventure in your life? Where do you find your strength? What are your road blocks and how do you get over them? As always I love reading your comments and so grateful for each of you.
4 Replies to “Getting Ready To Get Ready”
Your commitment to live with intention and joy inspires me.
I had not ‘met’ Abraham-Hicks before. How delightful that what she teaches integrates with what we practice with Conscious Discipline!
I don’t have the clarity of my mom’s inner speech in exact words, but definitely the feeling of ‘not enough.” Having spent more time with mom than usual in these past few months, I’m learning to notice the implicit and explicit messages of “I’m not worthy of love.”
OK – I’m trusting you to know my tone with this next reflection:
The first item on your detailed list for what you want in a man “Is good looking.” This doesn’t sit well with me; it doesn’t match with what I’ve experienced in our friendship. I know you to be someone who values your appearance and takes care of herself to look your best. I have always admired your sense of style. I haven’t experienced you as one who judges others based on appearance, so reading that first on your list was a moment of “huh?!” (imagine the sound of a record screeching to an abrupt halt). Then I read your first negative thought when you hesitated to post your profile: ““Who is going to be attracted to a 68 year old woman?” and I’m wondering… is that the first detail on your list for a man because it’s your first fear/doubt about yourself? You are beautiful – from deep in your heart all the way out to your sparkling eyes and infectious smile. I think the other items on your list are more aligned with who you aspire to be and who you want to connect with.
I’m currently on an adventure with my mom and her cancer treatments… I’ve definitely found strength in relationships and I’ve let more than a few f*cks fly. Road-blocks are often time-related (never enough!) and I’m working so hard to maintain balance and stay committed to asking for help and setting firm boundaries.
PS – I was gifted Angel Cards for Christmas and look forward to exploring them in the New Year!
Oh how I enjoy receiving your comments. I wondered if anyone would comment on “Is good looking.” Yes, I can hear your voice and feel your intention. So as always, there is a story behind this list, and more specifically, “is good looking.”
I dated a guy back in 2001. We met at the one and only meeting that I ever attended for newly divorced people. That kind of thing wasn’t for me because I didn’t want to allow that label to stick on me. So we dated for probably less than a year. I learned a lot through that time and one of those things was this one. I finally had to accept that this is important to me. I don’t like it about me but there it is. I’m with you in that this doesn’t match with who I am but there it is. Maybe I could tweek the phrase that I want someone who “values their appearance” because this man didn’t value it. I hope this makes sense? And as always I value your input.
My heart skips a beat when I get notification that someone has commented and then an extra beat when I see it is from you!
Wishing you well with your dear Mom as you support your Mom through her cancer treatments.
Enjoy your Angel Cards!