Who Knew It Would Be A Full Time Job

May 1, 2019

I have the ring and I’m getting ready to get ready. I submitted my profile to e-harmony and yet I  have no idea of what to expect. 

The first day e-haromony sent me a number of men that scored high to being compatible to me. I click over and then read their answers to the questions that e-harmony encourages you to answer. At first it was just plain fun imagining. And then It quickly became a full time job. Every morning I had to get people off of my island because I was getting smiles from men that didn’t even remotely interest me. I hadn’t anticipated this but I had to quickly find out about my deal breakers. It was an easy list to put together. Here it is. You are off the island if you: 

❤️ Smoke
❤️ If you don’t drink
❤️ Are a religious fanatic

There were men that wanted a “god fearing woman.” I’m not kidding. 

Off The Island

Here are a few observations from the first day.

  • A lot of men and I mean a lot of men don’t answer the questions. They just write what they want to write. 
  • The other weird thing was a lot of men typed in all caps! So now you are off the island if you typed in all caps. All caps translates to me that the man is screaming. 

In the second week it became apparent that I needed to be assertive, not complacent. I’ve got to be an active participant in this process. How scary and different from the 1960’s dating scene when it was the boy that asked you out. I remember what my intuitive guide said 5 months ago! “It’s going to be a year of self-empowerment, self-nurturing and self-promotion.” So I would again, get men off the island first and then figure out if I would send anyone a “smile.” I would literally hold my breath, close my eyes and hit the “smile” button. 

The Men

On and on this went. A man from NC answered my smile and then immediately sent me a question. E-harmony provides you with questions that you can send someone. I answered the question and then asked him how he would answer but then there was another question from him. This went on with five questions with no answers from him. He’s off the island just like that. I don’t like the Spanish Inquisition. 

Then there was the guy from Wisconsin. I seriously had to think about the snow and cold but what the hell. He went to Stanford and Harvard. Looks like he is crazy smart. He would ask me a question and I would answer it in a timely manner. I would ask him a question and it would take him 5 days to answer. I am not exaggerating. I’ve yet to hear his answer and that was back in May 2019. 

I’ve gotten adept at this full time job. I would literally wake up in the morning, reach for my phone and get men off the island and then send a smile or two and then get my coffee. I do regret that I didn’t keep track of how many smiles I sent out between May 1 and June 8. My hunch it was probably somewhere around 10, maybe more! I rarely heard from anyone. I quickly learned not to take it personally and believe that the universe was taking care of me. The perfect man is out there for me. Just do your job!

Where’s the sweet spot for me?

The answer to this question was elusive for a few days and then it just hit me one morning. I love music and this song is just so much fun and it is the perfect sweet spot. It’s Raining Men

It’s raining men, hallelujah,
It’s raining men, amen
I’m gonna go out to run and let myself get
Absolutely soaking wet
It’s raining men, hallelujah
It’s raining men, every specimen
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean
God bless mother nature, she’s a single woman too
She took off to heaven and she did what she had to do
She taught every angel she rearranged the sky
So that each and every woman could find her perfect guy!

Where’s Your Sweet Spot?

Where’s your sweet spot when you’re clear about what you want to achieve and it seems to be taking forever? How do you keep yourself going forward? How do you keep yourself sane? Describe your sweet spot. As always I look for your comments below. Did you know that you comment? Just scroll down and find the comment box.

Getting Ready To Get Ready

I wrote this phrase back on April 11, 2019 in Beaufort, SC and thought it a fitting title for this post. “I’m getting ready to get ready.” I listen to Abraham Hicks on YouTube and have read her books so I want to give her credit for this phrase that she uses a lot; getting ready to get ready. It has always resonated with me and especially during this moment in my life. So read on. . . . let’s back up in time!

January 1, 2019 

The holidays are behind me! I’ve set aside this day to think, reflect and make a plan for this new year. I have my new ring and the energy is literally changing. I can feel it. 

I made an appointment to speak with my intuitive guide, Christen McCormack for January 1. I’m ready with my questions for our hour together. The first thing she said was “I see you as a Phoenix rising from the ashes. It’s going to be a year of self-empowerment, self-nurturing and self-promotion.” She also indicated that it was a year to express myself without censoring. It’s a year to leave karma behind me. It’s the year to say, “enough is enough.”

I had spoken to her in October 2018 and asked if there would be another love? She said, “yes.” I’m elated and I am ready to get ready so I asked her in January if I need to sign up for online dating because I’m not making any connections out there! I’m ready to get ready but nothing is happening!

January 19, 2019

I had a Reiki session, my first. My throat chakra was blocked. He cleared that block and encouraged me to to find my voice and speak my truth. So interesting how he collected my negative energy and deposited into a bowl of water. 

I’m sensing a theme of finding my voice, are you? Finding my voice leads to a sense of empowerment which leads to promoting myself. Yes indeed there’s a theme!

Now I have to insert here that my Mom is in my ear and she’s saying some stuff like this: 

“You’re getting too big for your britches young lady.”
“Who do you think you are, the Queen of England?”

You know the drill don’t you? I’m wondering what your Mom said to you in moments like this?

From My Journal

February 9, 2019

“You get what you think about! Yikes! So it’s imperative to be clear about what I am going to attract into my life? Looking forward to being in a relationship—practice feeling good—the balance—being with someone that I can be me without asking for forgiveness—-and that he can be that also. Feeling like you have come home. A mirror.” 

So I began a list, a detailed list of what I want in a man. That list is in the back of my journal because it’s a running list. You know what I mean don’t you? My calendar is full with me flying to present workshops, staying in hotels and I have to keep my journal close just in case I think of something. It’s deliberate and intentional.
I’m getting ready to get ready.

Here’s the list.

Is good looking.
Values his health
Values self-reflection
Is educated
Enjoys all different kinds of music
Likes to dance
Likes Bailey
Bailey likes him
Is curious
Values independence
Values interdependence

Christmas Bailey
Bailey looking her best!

March 5, 2019

I had lunch with a colleague for some professional advice and then I ask her about her success with finding someone online. I hit the gold mine with her. Here’s my Cliff notes. Match.com is easy to do a profile. e-harmony takes time. Guys are attracted to Match.com. So I am all about e-harmony  I want to attract a guy that is thoughtful. 

April 28, 2019

“I’m so grateful for waiting to do e-harmony because my energy hasn’t been right. I could have attracted someone that I really didn’t want. So I am free the next few days and my energy is in the right place to attract the perfect match.” 

My Angel cards were Kindness and purpose.

April 30, 2019

It’s Tuesday and it’s time for e-harmony. That’s my priority for this morning. All the signs are present that this is the day. It is a beautiful morning and I am outside with my computer. A song comes on Could It Be I’m Falling In Love? I’m getting ready to get ready. And so I began my profile. It took time to write about me and then what photos to include? Fortunately I had asked a few close friends for adjectives that would describe me. Here’s that list.

Spunky
Sassy in a good way
Kind hearted
Loyal
Willing to take risks
Humorous
Tenacious

My profile is ready. I’ve taken the test. I’ve answered the questions. I’ve carefully chosen photos. All I have to do is hit the submit button. And then scared literally comes to take home in my heart.

Scared Feeling Buddy

All the negative talk in my brain comes out.
“Who is going to be attracted to a 68 year old woman?”
“Who are you kidding Jessica?”
“Get over yourself.”
And then there were these thoughts.
“Why do you want to mess up this lovely life you have created with a man?”
“Why can’t you just be grateful for what you have? Isn’t this good enough?”
“Wasn’t your time with Michael enough? You can’t recreate it again!”
“Aren’t your friends enough?”

I almost didn’t hit the “submit my profile button” and then I remembered my two value words of courage and integrity from Brené Brown’s book Dare to Lead and in that moment I literally hit the submit button. And just like that I’m out there. 

Where’s the Sweet Spot?

It’s January 8, 2020 as I write. My sweet spot is all of my friends that have encouraged me faithfully to seek out a new relationship. Each of them were honest and candid with me. I could have done it without them but the process would have looked very different and would not have been authentic. So I am indebted to Kim, Susan K, Susan D, Renee, Mandy and of course my Sharon.

Where’s Your Sweet Spot?

So I love ending like this! Where’s your sweet spot when you endeavor a new adventure in your life? Where do you find your strength? What are your road blocks and how do you get over them? As always I love reading your comments and so grateful for each of you.